Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker: Episode 13

It's been a while guys! So sorry I kept you guys waiting last week. Na new development cause am! You can now read Episode 13 on my new website, ibukunwrites.wordpress.com

Please do share so my old and new readers can know af port *lol*

Dope Nigga, I have switched sites and to all my loyal readers. New episodes shall no longer appear here but on WordPress!

Thanks for your understanding!

ibukunwrites.wordpress.com

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker ~ Episode 12

Eliza and I had taken an okada which seems to be the fastest as my mind seemingly dictated. I never even had the time to debate with my mind which is faster between the okada and the taxi but who cares right now ‘cos I seem to be on it already. Eliza who sat at my back on the okada was literally ‘shooking’ me with her braless nipples. On a normal day, I would have asked her to go back and wear clothes for ‘dem’ babies but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. Thank God I wasn’t a man sha; some guys literally get overly turned on just by the pinching of the nipple. Walai, ‘konji’ na serious bastard.

Throughout the ride to the hospital, I couldn’t help but be sure in my mind that everything really seems to be falling apart. There is a seemingly big trouble in our paradise. I can’t help but feel Amaka is in a bigger trouble and all these talk about breaking a bottle on Sola’s head could really be a sham. . . But come to think of it, what relationship does a cat have with a rat in the absence of a nearby hole? Why on earth would Sola try to protect Amaka? They never even knew each other until my ‘ish’ with him. One minute she’s getting out from a seemingly court case or federal prison as it were and the next minute, she’s hospitalized with no knowledge of how serious the accident was.  . . I don’t know what’s going on but Amaka I really can’t wait any longer for her to tell me what’s going on with her when she pleases. I was so determined in my mind that no matter the condition she is, as far as she can talk and recognize me, she’s gonna spill it all out cos I’m tired; fuck insensitive!

The okada dropped us right in front of the hospital and I just couldn’t wait to enter the hospital, locate her ward, maybe find out how she’s doing or start making her talk about everything that’s so going on.

You really won’t reply? I thought you really wanted us to talk.

Jide, the yahoo messenger had started again. He never really talked much. Short messages, short words even in the sweetest of times; he’s always precise and straight to the point. At this point, I was really tired of all dramas especially Jides. I have indeed had my hands too full. I never wasted my time in replying him.

Maybe it never really mattered anymore. I sent him a response text.

All these were going on while Eliza and I was seated, patiently waiting for the nurse to attend to us. They all seem to be busy; hospitals seem to be even busier than the market place these days.

Maybe it never really mattered anymore? What has come over you? I’m really tired.

It was so obvious he was also tired of being miserable. The rate at which he sends and replies was quite serious. Guess, he wasn’t the only one that is tired but different types of tiredness.

Jide. I’m not tired. I’m fed up. I replied.

Fine!

He doesn’t even take five seconds to fire his reply. Sometimes, I wonder why the guy never really went to the Military because whenever Jide says fine, it is really fine! Whatever sef, he can go and kill himself. Good riddance to unnecessary messing up with my head. I am tired jare!

Finally, a Nurse decided to attend to us. She was smart, pretty and looked so versed in the job.

“Hello. Good day ma. How can I be of help?”

“Yeah, thanks. A friend of mine was rushed here. . . An accident victim.”

“Okay. Can I have her name please?”

“Amaka Coker!”

“Oh! Okay. We have a name like that with us. She was rushed in early today.”

“Please, how is she and how badly hurt?”

“Well. . . How related are you to her?”

“Hmmmm. . . she is my friend. Not just any friend, my close friend. . . My sister.”

“Okay. . .  You should go see the doctor first; first turning by the right.”

“Alright. Thanks.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Amaka Coker was given a private ward; it was that serious or maybe not. I knew I couldn’t stand the sight of what had befallen her even from afar. I didn’t allow Eliza to come in before the whole occupants of number 5 would start exaggerating what had happened to her.

I could see a man sitting directly opposite her on a white chair; his back view looked like Jide’s but it possibly couldn’t be. I seem to see Jide everywhere and in everything these days. “I’m feeling the nigga in Dbanj’s voice even though I try to deny it. . . Hmmm, the more we moved closer to see Amaka proper, the more scared I became.

“This is the young man that brought your friend in.” the doctor said introducing the young man on the seat who happened to be Jide.

“Oh! Nice. So glad to meet you. Thanks so much for your kind gesture. God will reward you.” I said, shaking hands with him with no single drop of familiarity. I’m so fucking good at stuffs like that in pretense actually

“Don’t mention it ma’am. I was just opportuned to be driving by at the time of the incident. Let’s just thank God she’s alive.” He said with so much distance visible in the language. Everything felt so weird and it was actually hurting to me but I had to shake it off in Taylor Swift’s voice.

“I should take my leave now. I would check back later.”

“Jide right?. . . “ I said, staring into his eyes, holding tightly to his palms. . . “It was nice to meet you.”

“Same here ma’am!” he made to leave.

I was like “cut off with the ma’am crap” in my mind. I was actually looking for an opportunity to hold firm to his arms, caress them all day and never let go but it was not my decision to make. I was gonna let go whether I like it or not.

Amaka was all bounded up. . . she was wrapped up all over the head, face, up to her neck level. She looked like an acid victim that needed a surgery. . . I couldn’t even see her face not to talk of reading her emotions or bursting for her. Tears flowed from my eyes freely and I couldn’t even hold it back.

“We would leave you for now but you can check by my office when you are leaving.” The doctor said patting me on the shoulder as he made to take his leave with the young nurse that attended to me.

I couldn’t contain my tears. I broke down. I was sitting on the bare floor. I wept like a baby; can’t remember the last time I did that. I didn’t even notice Eliza come in until she touched, helped me up. I went by Amaka’s side, held her hand and said a little prayer with tears in my voice and mind; can’t remember the last time I prayed until now. I made my leave with Eliza, shutting the door closely behind her.

“Eliza, kindly wait for me at the Nurses’ lounge. I wanna quickly see the Doctor.” I said to her.

“Alright ma.”

The Doctor’s office wasn’t what I had envisaged. A hot argument was going on between him and some people who I had no idea if they were patients, patients-to-be, or relatives of a patient but whatever; I had already jumped in before I realized it was heated in there and I was caught in between deciding to leave or staying.

“I’m sorry sir but you really cannot see this patient.” The Doctor was stressing.

“I would see her! What authority have you to tell me not to see her?” the man fired back.
The man seems to have a good command of English. He was dressed in a Yoruba attire; all flowing agbada with some correct bling-bling all over his neck; he smells riches and wealth and beside him was a young, pretty woman who definitely would be in her early 50s. She was dressed in the same fabric but in the skirt and blouse style. She was unnecessarily panting all over.

“Sir, I still insist you can’t see the patient in question. You are not allowed to see her.”

“Not even me, her mother?” the woman stressed in a shaking voice.

“I’m sorry ma! But you can’t. She only penciled down a name and she is the only person allowed to see her. . . If you’d excuse me sir and ma, I have to attend to someone.”

“You’ve gat to be kidding me! I would see my daughter! I would see Amaka! And not even you can stop me from seeing her. . .”

The mention of Amaka made me stood still. Which Amaka? My Amaka or another one? I had to satisfy my curiosity. . .

“Please sirs and mas, which Amaka are we talking about here?”

“And who are you to question a family matter?” the man who is claiming Amaka’s paternity fires back.

“I’m sorry sir; just wanted to be sure. . .

“Madam. . .” the doctor said facing me

“. . . Meet, Chief and Mrs. Coker; Amaka’s parents!”

I couldn’t contain my surprise. . . How much do we really think we know? Maybe not so much!

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker ~ Episode 11

So sorry for absconding last week; Would try as much as possible to keep to my dates *smiles*. . . I wanna wish my beautiful readers A Happy Easter! God bless you for always being fabulous!

Episode 11

Sometimes, unnecessary stress makes someone add unnecessary weight. . . such was the dilemma I found myself in. Everything about me had changed. It was like I have lost the two most important persons to me. . . No sex in three weeks; so very unusual. I seem to have already lost interest in life; couldn’t find savour in anything. . . I became unexplainably depressed since that encounter with Jide at the hospital. I have grown to love him but we just kept dripping apart. Amaka on the other hand is where she is and they were like all I ever have left.

I decided to take a break from my pity party situation. Haven’t stepped out in two days, all I had been doing was running hot bath; my favourite hobby in the world, feeding on anything calories, lying on the bed, listening to Dido’s “Life for rent” on repeat. . . Crazy things women do. It was as if the PHCN had known I was gonna be like this for two days; the light was unbelievable stable but I was tired of being unnecessarily miserable when the life around me was going on. I haven’t even visited Amaka in two days and I’m sure it’s either she is terribly mad at me or crazily worried for me. Jide didn’t even buzz my phone at all in two days. How would I even know if he did *this one that I have switched off my phone for two days* I am sure he never tried.

I was so mad at myself for falling for Jide which was so unlike me and really, I need to stop beating myself over it; shutting myself out of the world, not worrying about Amaka and becoming unexplainably depressed wasn’t a good way to go about it. I should learn to move on. I encouraged myself to rise up from the bed, brushed my teeth, splashed water on my beautiful face which never tasted water in two days, ran my hands through my soft hair, tied it into a bun, take two glasses of water, changed from my night wear which I’m sure must be having a foul smell by now; I put on a black tank top and a black silk stretchy leggings, with my headset on my head, I opened the door, shut the house and left for April Government’s College.

*************

Running through the lawns of April Government’s College has become an habit whenever I needed to get in shape. I do a little running, walking and then jogging. Most times, I don’t do it just for the weight but also, it’s my way of shedding off weighty thoughts. Let’s just say, the school lawn was my quiet room. It has a seat that can accommodate at least three people at a time. The seat also swings up and down; the kind of seat you find at an amusement park or lovers’ lawn.

April Government’s College was a 15km walk down from our house. The school is very beautiful; the track field was open to the street; people can see it from afar even while in the taxi. You appreciate the beauty of the school more from a far view. Eliza also attended that school. The students are brilliant and sometimes you find it so hard to believe that’s a school funded by the government. It’s a one of its kind.

I sat on the seat for like 30minutes. The seat gives comfort and succour. It’s so sweet and relaxing; the swinging makes it feel as if I was in a totally different world and nothing around me was falling apart. I slammed on my headset with Sia’s "Chandelier" playing and I was humming to it. I remembered the past; both the beautiful and the ugly but the ugly reminisce carried the 90% of my thoughts. Life hasn’t been fair but there were sweet moments. I remembered running through the streets of Mafoluku with my panties on amidst my peers. The memory brought smiles on my face. . . I remembered St. Anne Catholic Church; there I have once served as an altar assistant; they called it servers. I remembered selling ‘dankwa’ which fed and pay for my fees through primaries one to five. . . When ‘dankwa’ failed, I resorted to selling ‘moi-moi’ and ‘koko’ (a not-too-watery version of pap) to see myself through Secondary school. I resorted to prostitution when I didn’t make my WAEC and I have to do external exams like NECO and WAEC GCE. . . Ever since then, I never stopped. Sex to me was like shielding oneself from taking the cucumber fruit all because some people don’t like it, you don’t like it and all of a sudden, you tasted an iced cucumber; an experience you never want to stop experiencing. It might not have a definite taste but it has its benefits. I was 20 when I wrote JAMB; I graduated at the age of 25. . . Approximately, I have been having consistent sex for 6 years now. . .

I was tired of reminiscing things I wasn’t proud of but hardly do I regret any of those things. . . I wish I had other choices but I didn’t. I want to be more than the situation around me could dictate but the question is, did I really achieve the way I wanted?

I ran through the track field of April G. C. over and over for six times consecutively with my headset replaying Common ft. John Legend’s “Glory” with so much heaviness and heaves of sadness all over. . . the song kinda gives me hope.

*************

Two hours was all I needed to make the house look so pleasant to the eyes. Somewhere within me, I feel lively, everything seems back to normal and the aura of hope flushed through my petite face. . . I had a cool bath and it was so refreshing that I was like ‘what the hell have I been doing to myself for two days?’
Not knowing what to wear, I slipped into a black jumpsuit. Black is my favourite colour. I slipped my legs into a flat black Noble Igwe-like sandal; with a rolex wristwatch and my stud earrings as ensembles. I sprayed a little perfume, carried my LV petite bag, combed my hair into an all back situation, use my favourite Sleek flash a pout lipgloss, no powder and I dashed out of the house to go check Amaka at the Police Station. I was really hoping I won’t meet her there or something or even if I did I hope Sola would have carried out my orders and make everything easy.

I flagged down a taxi and in less than 15minutes, we were there. The taxi man was extremely speedy that all I was doing throughout the ride was a silent prayer. He wasn’t smelling alcohol or looking depressive but he really doesn’t look alright with the manner with which he drove the car. I can only hope his issues are resolved before e go crash passengers for inside canal.

I stepped down and I can see that same Corporal I met the other day staring deeply at me with his eyes focusing on my boobs like a boobs-starved man and he just can’t wait to tear my clothes if possible and start overflooding his face with it.

“Hello. Good afternoon Officer.” I greeted him

“Madam, it’s still morning. . .” He said growling at me.

“Officer, take it easy na. I haven’t come here to fight you o abi. . . Anyways, it’s past twelve already. You should check your wristwatch *that’s even if it’s working* I murmured to myself.”

“Okay, no vex. . . How you dey now? E don tey wey you come here o! Your friend don dey worry no be small.”

“Eh ya. How is she? I thought you people would have released her na.”

“Release ekwa? Who we go release? Na here she go rot. That bad-mouth scatter rubbish type of girl.” He said with so much Igbotic accent.

“Officer abeg na! That one too much. Which one be she go rot here? Abeg o!”

“Wetin dey worry you too? You better behave o! You are talking to a Sergeant. I go just lock you up too.”

“lol! Officer abeg. No dey overhype yourself. Your wetin dem dey call am wey dey your fifty shoulder pad reads “Corporal”

“Wetin dey my shoulder? Two red 'V' s.

“Exactly my point. You don’t have a rank yet so stop hyping yourself. . . Can I see my friend now?”

The D. P. O. stepped out. He was a cute handsome young man. I love a man in uniform but I’m so scared of ending up with one. Biko, I love myself, e too early to dey alone either by death or by transfer or by travelling about.

“Corporal!” He screamed!

“Yes Sir!” he replied making their gestural greetings.

“Grant that young lady that have been here for some time, Amaka Coker or what’s her name; she’s available for bail.”

“Oga! Bail?”

“Yes! You heard me and make it as snappy as possible. She musn’t spend another night here! Do I make myself clear?” he said with so much authority.

“Yes, yes sir!” he said stuttering.

I couldn’t contain my laughter.

“Why you dey laugh? You this girl, I go lock you up.”

“Oga, bone! Wetin dey do you sef. . . You no see as you wan pee for body because of that young man wey come here cos you know say e fit sack you! Small boy o! DPO! No pride but ordinary corporal like you ehn! . . . Make I just shut up.”

“Sergeant! Come and lock this woman up!”

“Hahahahahahahahaha! Corporal you no go kill me o! Ordinary Corporal like you wan give Sergeant order. Abeg, speed up the bail before I scream now o and your DPO will just come out and your own don done be that!”

He left the counter and went in to return with Amaka! The stupid girl was just smiling but looking tired; all beaten up by mosquitoes.

“Babe! I’m so sorry I haven’t come to check on you in two days. . .”

“It’s okay. I understand everything.”

“No, not like that. . .”

“I said I understand. . . Jide was here to see me yesterday and he tried to hide so many things from me but I can see disappointment written all over his face but whatever that was, we are gonna talk about it when we get home.”

“I didn’t tell him you were here. . .” with so much surprise all over me.

“No you didn’t, but e be like say your bobo don dey trail you o!”

“Like Jide had been following me?. . .”

“Not like that Sule!. . .”

“Abeg Amaka! Free me, I’m not even interested in him again. I’m over him.”

“Awwwwww! So obvious babe!. . .” She said with so much lampoon and sarcasm.

“Abeg, Corporal Corporal, where I go sign?”

“You don’t need to sign anywhere. Someone pulled for your friend’s bail. So you guys are free to go.” He said much calmer and ‘lowkey’ than his previous lousiness.

“Someone pulled for my bail?” Amaka asked with so much surprise.

“Maybe it was Sola cos I went to the hospital to threaten him a bit.” I cut in.

“No o, no be that guy wey got you arrested o! Shey na Sola e dey bear. . . Dis one na one Chief Olukunle something” said the Corporal.

“Chief Olukunle what?”

Amaka’s face had drastically changed from enthusiasm to bitterness and anger. I don’t know why someone would be angry all of a sudden for someone who helped her with bail. I have never heard of that name before and somehow somewhere I felt lost.

In less than five minutes, we were out of the premises of the police station. I flagged down a taxi but Amaka was flagging down an okada behind me.

“Babe, what’s going on? I flagged down this taxi for us to go home. You freshen up, rest and eat something.”

“I know. You go without me. I need to make a stop somewhere. It’s very important.”

“Let me go with you then abi! I don’t have an appointment. We can go to that place together and then from there, we go home.” I said

“Babe, trust me! This is no trouble. Don’t be worried for me. I just want to make a quick stop. That’s it. I would meet you at home in less than thirty minutes and don’t follow me!”

“Alright.”

I entered the cab, Amaka was already on the bike and she was going in front of us. I wanted to tell the cab man to follow her but I wanted her to have her privacy. Whatever that was going on; she would tell me when she’s ready.

I got home, unlocked the door and I liked what I saw. Everywhere was spick and span. There was light; I guess the PHCN won a lottery. I was extra lightened up. I turned on the home theatre and I was blasting MC Galaxy’s “Sekem” with my dancing steps on the move. I made for the kitchen to prepare scrambled egg and coffee! Amaka loves it more than I love it. Then in the evening, we would go to the market together and cook a nice efo riro to be eaten with rice later in the day. . . Scrambled egg was ready and microwaved but I was chilling a little bit in making the coffee so it won’t get cold before Amaka gets back.

It was already passing thirty minutes and I was getting worried again. She asked me not to follow her; I don’t have an idea where she went to. Gosh! I don’t know why she keeps making me worried. . .

Then I heard a loud bang on my door.

“Yes who’s there?” I screamed.

“It’s me o; Eliza!”

I made for the door, unlocked it and greeted the rather looking extremely apprehensive girl.

“What’s wrong with you? Are you alright? Did someone die?” So many questions in one stretch of sentence. She was looking too apprehensive for my liking and I couldn’t help but bombard her with the questions.

“Aunty, something bad has happened o! terrible happenings all over.” She started weeping.

“Eliza, wetin do you na? You are scaring me o!” I couldn’t contain it anymore. I hate suspense. Both good and bad and this one definitely smells bad.

“It’s Aunty Amaka o!”

I grabbed her top. . . “Wetin do Aunty Amaka?”

I was coming back from my friend’s place when I saw an okada jam a bus and Aunty Amaka was the one on the okada. She was bleeding and she looks unconscious to me.

“Bleeding? Unconscious? Where? How?
What’s going on?”

“It was opposite our school. I think she was coming home.”

“For goodness sake, what’s going on!” I broke down in tears sitting down on the rug. Everything became so unexplainable.

“We should go quick quick na aunty! Stop crying”

I rose up, off the light, the home theatre, picked up my phone; didn’t even bother changing the bathroom slippers I was putting on. . . Gosh! Amaka just want to kill me. . . My phone beeped! “Who the hell is that sef?”

“We need to talk!” . . . Jide

One good news! One bad news! What a life. . . I wasn’t ready to loose any of them but Jide would have to wait.

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker ~ Episode 10

The taxi I boarded home was exactly the kind I needed. The driver had dropped off all other passengers and I was the only one left at the back seat of the car. My knees were too weak to walk that I had no option but to opt for a taxi. I would have ‘flied’ a motorbike but I wasn’t ready for the jagging movements due to potholes. . . You know, there is really a difference between the potholes effect of a car and that of a motorbike. Amaka would always say “it’s a lie. It depends on the rider and the driver.” I quite agree with her; at times though.

Amaka couldn’t tell me what really went wrong before a Police Officer bumped in to tell me my time with her was over. I never even spent 15 minutes. Police Station is a ridiculous place to go. The thought of her spending another night in that cell turns my stomach and she doesn’t even care. Even the response I got from the Police Officer about Amaka’s bail wasn’t even encouraging. Hmmmm. It is well.

The driver increased the volume of the music player and somehow somewhere, my mind found solace and strength in the Jim Reeves “This World is not my Home” blasting from the stereo. It felt so warm and enchanting that all I wanted to do was spend the whole night in that car with the song on a repeat but unfortunately, I’m soon to drop off from the car.

The walk down my house felt so short and sweet, all thanks to the breeze and the silence of the street and the chattering of the moi-moi, eko and akara sellers. I wasn’t sure whether to buy some as I really can’t figure out what to have for dinner. May it was me, my appetite or both at work. What if I buy and it go to waste? “I’ll pass” I said.

Unfortunately for me, the compound was silent but a shinning image of someone a little plump, sitting on a wooden stool and reflecting so much oil even in darkness was staring at me from afar. That definitely could be no one other than Mama Seun. She’s white in the morning and like a shinning light in the evening. All thanks to ‘ori’ and ‘adi-agbon’. She’s a sorry case. How would someone leave her home in the morning without moisturizing her body only to return in the evening to a moisturizing effect of shea butter and coconut oil without even taking a shower. I wonder how her husband has managed to stay with her for that long; 15 years or something. May it’s because she’s the breadwinner and the husband is the breadeater. Their marriage is like one’s demise is the end of the other. If Mama Seun dies today, Papa Seun is doomed and if Papa Seun suddenly woke up one day to a non-coordinating brain waves of his telling him Mama Seun isn’t really good for him again or he wants to try something else; pauper like him, Mama Seun go just collapse because in her case, there are two things involved in Basketmouth’s voice. It’s either she bully him to stay because she’s never gonna find a man who is gonna ‘just the way you are’ like Bruno Mars or who’s gonna give her great sex considering her horrific shape. Her shape is the one they called Apple shape or something but a terrible apple shape.

Sitting in darkness at odd hours when almost everybody are in their room chasing away mosquitoes, watching a movie, patiently waiting for sleep, gisting, gossiping, ‘straffing’ or strategizing for the next day has become a sort of daily rituals for her. Her boysquarters couldn’t contain her anymore. God knows say I no get time for her wahala this night not even a pinch of ‘gbeborun.’

“Hey, welcome o! You look so tired, se ko si? (hope no problem”

“I’m fine Mama Seun. Just a little bit worn out from today’s stress.”

“Eh ya. Pele o. Try bath before you sleep o and take paracetamol if you have headache.”

You go fear adviser. She can’t even remember the last day she had a morning bath not to talk of a night bath. If only people can take the advise they give
others. . . “I will Mama Seun. Thanks.”

“O o ti e bere awon aburo e? (you no even ask of your siblings)”

“No vex. How dem dey o?” *like say na my mama born dem, she sha no wan sound like say na aproko she wan do.*

“Ehn ehn. Dem dey fine. Thank you.”

“Alright na.”

I made for my door; that’s the only thing I wanna do now. Open it and crash wherever I found fit.

“Abeg, e don tey o wey I see Amaka for house. Hope say she dey alright? Abi she travel ni or she dey sick?”

Bad belle human being. No be only sick, na die she die. Some people no get good thoughts for mind. Even some wey get, na 1 good thought, 2 terrible thoughts. I think Mama Seun fits that category.

“She dey alright o.”

“Okay. As I no see her na why I talk say make I just ask as per Jesus talk say, love your neighbours as yourself na. . . But you never tell me where she dey.”

“Mama Seun, you know say I don tire. All that matters is that Amaka is fine. That info sef suppose do you now. I’d see you in that morning. Good night.”

“Okay.”

I didn’t even bother looking at her face while I talked. It is said that ‘he who looks at the bride’s face will know she’s crying.’ I knew what I said would have hurt her aproko body small but who cares. I have bigger problems right now than considering who is hurting over ‘gbeborun.’

I knew I was never gonna enjoy the night’s sleep. It was not because I would have to sleep all alone in the house but because I would have to sleep in the house with Amaka passing the night elsewhere in an uncomfortable environment and situation. I threw my bag to the nearest place it could find, I didn’t even bother removing my makeup, offing my clothes not to talk of taking a shower. I made for the couch, laid face down waiting for sleep to come shut my eyes but I was determined to find out what really happened the next day even if I had to make an appearance at the last place I couldn’t imagine myself.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Hi. Good morning.”

“Good morning. How can I help you ma’am?”

“Thanks. I am looking for someone who was admitted at this hospital. His name is Adewale Olusola.”

“Who are you to him? And is he expecting you?”

“I am. . .”

I wanted to say I am a friend which would definitely mean he is a friend but hell no he is not a friend. I am not angry. I would just love it to be that way but I definitely need to say something to get a bypass with the Nurse.

“Madam!”

“Oh sorry. I am an old friend of his *that sounds better at least. He was an old friend.*”

“Okay. You go straight then make a first turning by the right, the third room is where you’d find him.”

“Thank you.”

I had set out of the house early to find Sola even if it was the last thing I wanted to do but I actually have to know what’s going on. I had took a quick shower, dress up in a short sleeveless top, a jean, a flat sandal and a black face cap as a shield against the sun as it turns out the sun sets out so early today. The fact that I haven’t received any call or a single text from Jide keeps bothering me even though I try to hide it. I like him but I have never been in a relationship before and a guy-drama is the last thing I have patience for.
“He’ll call. . . He needs some time.” I keep telling myself.

I didn’t want to call Sola to find out where he was or to tell him I wanted to see him or something and Jide wasn’t on talking terms with him ever since that incident. It was like their friendship ended that day at the restaurant. I decided to call one of his friends who had told me where I could find him. . . Staring at him on the bed with heavy bandage to his head and the surreal that radiates all over him while asleep makes me wanna hit him with that bournvita can next to his bed but I thought I wasn’t angry. Maybe not at him, maybe at myself for allowing him do that to me. . . I decided to leave as he was asleep hoping he would be awake by the time I check back in the evening.

“Hi” he said holding my hand firmly like a resuscitated corpse who grabs the first thing he sees.

“So you pretend to be asleep too? Guess you pretend over almost everything in your life. Like you pretended to yourself that you did nothing wrong to me. Like you lie to yourself ‘Sola forget about it, life goes on. . . this babe doesn’t matter. She can’t do ‘nada’. It’s a past you would never need to face again. . .” You want me to go on?”

“Why are you here and how do you know where I am?”

“Seriously? You disgust me. I hate men like you who have ego over nothing. You wrong and you still wanna wear that 50 shoulder pads of yours? You still wanna pretend like you are the boss, you’ve got it all working, you’ve got it all together. . . You know, I don’t care about what you did, I am just sorry if you have to wait till you are in your 50s and you have to be responsible to your kids and be protective of your girl-child till you grow up and be responsible for once in your life. . . You know what, it doesn’t even matter. Here, is the last place I wanna be so I would just go straight to the point. What do you know about Amaka’s arrest?”

“You know you are so unnecessarily assuming. . .

“It’s okay Sola, seriously, I have so much I want to say to you but right now, it doesn’t matter. I’d appreciate if you would just answer my questions.” I said with so much disgust.

“Fine. . . You see this bandage on my head, Amaka did this to me. I have been having severe and terrible headaches for like four days now non-stop.”

I sank my butts on the next available bed to me. Not that I was surprised and not like Amaka is violent but why she did I don’t understand.

“Amaka did this to you?”

“Yes, she did.”

“And you got her arrested?”

“Yes. . . “

“Are you kidding me? You got Amaka arrested? I am so wowed! That’s so interesting you know. You couldn’t have done anything other that. If I were in your shoes, I would have done the same thing you know.”

“Exactly. I like the fact that you are being real.”

“You are a fool Sola. Oh! For whatever reason Amaka broke a bottle on your head I would find out but I am not sorry for you and for crying out loud, this happened in my house, my apartment. You had the gut to show your face in my house and you blamed Amaka for breaking a bottle on your head?”

I picked my bag to leave. I walked to the door and stopped to face him.

“I’m gonna make sure she’s available for bail. She’s not gonna spend another night in that horrible place and you better make sure it’s easy. That same button you pressed to get her arrested, you better start pressing them now to get her released. . . I pray you don’t get better.”

I jammed the door at him only to bump into Jide by the door.

“And what are you doing here?”

“Jide, please, let me be. Let’s talk some other time.” Very crazy of me to say right? I know. I was patiently expecting to see him, hear from him and now I am trying to spoil it.

“You think I wanna talk to you or you think I wanna sit down and discuss that night with you? You must be kidding me. It’s not about then, it’s about now.”

“I don’t understand.” I replied actually feeling lost.

“Okay. I will make you understand. I presume this is where Sola is admitted right?”

“Yes. So?”

“I thought you guys were not talking; like you are not talking to him, you don’t wanna see him. . .”

“And I thought you guys were no longer friends. . .”

“It doesn’t matter if he is no longer my friend or if he is. Is not like I hate him to the point of death. He didn’t offend him, he offended you and I was just disappointed he did that and that couldn’t man up to it.”

“Okay. You should go see him then. I have somewhere important to be.”

He drew me back with his hands firmly gripping my hand.

“Jide, you are hurting me. Stop! For crying out loud we are in the hospital.”

“You will answer my questions. . .

“Jide, coming to see Sola is not what you think it is. It’s something much more important than that.”

“Really? Is that all you have to say?”

“Yea, for now!”

“Okay then. First, my dad has hooked you up before; now, you came to Sola! I don’t even know what to believe anymore. Even if I wanna sit down to discuss that dinner with you; with this, I don’t think I want to anymore. . . You and Sola are both dead to me.”

He left angrily and I was obviously running after him.

“Jide, it’s not what you think. Why can’t you just be patient for once!”

He entered his car, wind up and zoomed off!

“Jide!” I kept on screaming his name till I couldn’t see him again.

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker ~ Episode 9

Okay, Happy New Week people. . . I'm so sorry for not posting last week. . . Apart from the fact that NEPA messed themselves up, I had a severe eye inflammation but I'm better and back now. . . Here's Episode 9. Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Amaka Coker was one out of the few great things that happened to my life. I remembered the first time we met; it was like we had known each other for ages. She has and always had an alluring and magnetic personality; she’s more real than life, ‘couthly’-blunt and highly hyper-active. She has this laughter and smile that makes you wanna believe life is problem-free and everything is perfect with her. Her voice and words speaks Bob Marley’s “Every little thing is gonna be alright. . . Don’t worry be happy, even if your landlord says your rent is late.”

We met in one of the awkward places most men don’t wanna meet their future wife; where most ladies beef each other just for the night. Where ladies who covet each other’s body shape during the day, bad-mouths the so-called perfect body to sell market. There you see the realest of all boobs and the fakes; those 3 inches padded boobs where customers discover say na bobo juice after e don pay finish.

Ours is a meeting point where different dialects of pidgin is being spoken; where figure one during the day becomes figure 8 at night; where people who no sabi each other for day become enemies with abusive words hurling at each other.

Amaka was the hot type; with the Joselyn Dumas kind of shape and a Mercy Johnson type of height. She was of high demand and has a high class taste of customers. She has a zero tolerance for low self esteem and even though the girls talk bad about her when she’s not around, they dare not the moment she arrives. My babe get respect for body. Most times, customers drive off without hooking up with anyone if she is not available.

Amaka never does multiple per night. She always says, “my body no be deliverance centre where I attend to many situations per day” lol. The girl is a piece of work; a human comic relief when everything turns boring and sour.

Sitting on the couch, staring at the clock; watching the short hand of the clock on 7 and the long hand on 12; it was as if darkness was over the face of my earth and the only person to proclaim ‘tada! Let there be light’ has suddenly gone missing.
The house felt so empty without her and I can’t help but feel something terrible has happened to her. She always told me, “no matter what happened to me, I’m a big girl, and I can always handle the situation”.

*************

“Hey, you are not going home tonight?”

“And you are?” I fired back

“Hey, chill! You don’t have to be hard with everyone just because life is hard on you. Life is hard on everyone girlie, you just gat to handle it pretty well and stop throwing tantrums at everyone that comes your way. . . Anyway, I was just showing some care, that’s all.”

She sounded so bitchy as she sounded so cool in one stretch of sentence.

“I’m sorry I replied you that way.”

“Well, forget it! I don’t take things too seriously. . .

“Well, I am. . .”

“Never mind, I know who you are. I mean beyond the walls of the streets. I know you don’t remember my face but I do. You are the girl with the incredible brain. . . Remember that response you gave Dr. Freeze at LEM 201 class? You made a lot of sense. Anyways, I’m your coursemate.” She said in a long-stretch of utterance without a pause.

“Ow! Okay. So sorry I couldn’t recognize you, I’m not too good with faces.”

“No problem.”

I just lied though. I am very much good with faces. Maybe faces that has hurt me are quite unforgettable to me but I really never noticed her like I really never noticed any of my course mates because I love my solitariness.

“So, why are you here?” we both ask each other at the same time.

“You first!” I responded.

“Why are you working here? You don’t care if anybody who knows you like our course mates find you here? Even though you don’t know them, they know you!”

“Do you care?” I asked her.

“Who gives a damn?. . . But why do you work here?”

“’Cos I need the money.”

“Really?”

I almost gave her a disdain look.

“What do you mean really?”

“Never mind. So, won’t you go home tonight? After all, the show is over”

“Well, I have nowhere to stay for tonight and the little money I have with me is not even enough for my plans.”

That was so unlike me; I just blurted out to a total stranger without holding back.

“Anyways, this is N50,000; you can add it to whatever you have in your purse if it’s enough to get you a place to sleep for the night and maybe solve your problems.”
I collected the money that it felt like a dream holding it between my hands. I spent almost 15mins caressing the money, as I looked up to thank her or ask her why she gave it to me, she was almost far gone.

“Why did you give me the money?” I screamed ontop of my voice hoping she would hear or reply me and sure she did.

“Because I don’t do this for the money. You need it; I don’t.”

“Thanks. . . But who are you? Your name? You didn’t tell me.”

“Amaka Jones” she screamed back.

*************

Staring at the blood-stricken rug, reminiscing my first moment and moments with Amaka, I can’t help but pray earnestly in my mind that she’s hale and hearty. I love the fun she gives me to hell with the stress that comes with it.

Even though a part of me wants to think it’s all a prank, life doesn’t pull pranks so doesn’t Amaka and even if she’s up to something, it’s never gonna be something threatening as this but woe-betide her if this is all for nothing cos I can swear I have already lost a pound in the process of worrying about her but seriously, I need to find her first.

The compound was still very much silent, nobody around still; don’t know who to call or whose opinion to seek. Jide would have been my first go-to counseling centre if things hadn’t gone sour and dramatic earlier on and I know he would have taken Amaka’s issue so seriously than I would have but now, I don’t even have a 1 percent gut to call or text him even though I know I’m still gonna face him later to explain myself whether he’s interested or not.

The almighty sexy voice of “Korede Bello in Godwin” broke the solitary silence in the room. I picked my phone to check who the hell was calling me at this unpleasant hour except if it’s Jide but unfortunately it was Sola.

“What does he want again?” I screamed as if Amaka was in front of me telling me Sola is at the door to see me.

I have already made up my mind that I wasn’t gonna pick even if he calls ten times. Whatever business I have with him ended the day Amaka pulled that restaurant stunt. He continued calling that even my ringtone was becoming annoying.

I stood up, got off my heels, went to bathroom, took a cloth-mop soaked in a soapy water, headed back to the living room and I began to clean up the blood. My brain wasn’t coordinating, even though the soapy water was cleaning it, it still wasn’t a wise idea to clean up the rug with water. My phone vibrated and screamed “Message”, I knew it was Sola and I was definitely not wrong about that.

I presumed you won’t pick my call, so I decided to send you a text. Although, I regret almost everyday what I did to you, I was out of line, I can only hope you’d forgive and don’t break up our long term ties, stashing knowing me and everything because of my mistake. I am really sorry but I can’t be dwelling on this matter everyday. . . That I wanted to tell you and I also wanted to tell you that Amaka was arrested earlier today and she is at the police station opposite the school gate. You should go see her.

I hurriedly stood up, the first part of the message never mattered like the last part. How come Sola knew Amaka was arrested? And for what reason was she arrested? What’s going on here?

I really wanted to call Sola back and asked him some necessary questions but I was so filled with anger and pride; “I will never be caught calling Sola, texting him or talking to him at that.” At least, I know Amaka is alright. If she was injured, she is supposed to be at the hospital and not locked up.

Sola already helped with providing the police station in which Amaka was being held, I would fill in the missing gaps myself but I still can’t help but wonder whose blood was lying on my rug. I am really confused.

*************

“Hi. Good evening Officer.”

“Evening madam.”

“Please, I am looking for a friend of mine who is said to be in your custody here.”

“Her name?”

“Amaka Jones”

“Amaka?” he said disdainfully

“Wetin happen oga?”

“Who she be to you?”

“Na my friend.”

“You be friend with that kind girl? That girl wey no get respect ehn! She don dey frustrate everybody for here since morning. That girl na murderer! If no be say she get powerful people behind her, I go don torture her so tey, you no go even recognize am; especially that her heavy backside! Chai, the girl carry!”

“Gbam! Gaps are on their way to being filled” I murmured to myself and I shook my head for the officer.

“Why you dey shake your head? Wetin happen?”

“Nothing officer. Can I still see her officer?”

“Sure why not! As per say you sef carry. I can see why una be friends”

The officer looked like Mr. Ibu in Police Uniform; crazy people are in the police force.

Amaka was lying down on a flat slab in a room not necessarily locked up. But seriously this girl is a fool. Who lies down to sleep in a police station?

“Hey! You, you get visitor o!” the Police Officer screamed.

Amaka rose to sit and face the Police Officer who refused to leave.

“Can you leave us alone now at least I’m not charged yet. I don’t know why una never lock me up sef.”

“No worry opeke, we go lock you up soon!” he said hissing and leaving.

“Sola told me you are here and I don’t seem to understand, Sola, you! What’s up?”

“Wo o, forget! How was your date na? and don’t tell me you left your date to come here o!”

“You don craze shey you know? Which is more important? A date or you? Even though the date sucks; I swear, you don’t wanna know what happened.”

“Hey, look at me. It’s gonna be fine. Whatever happened, I’m gonna hear it at home.” She said holding my hand like a fairy godmother.

“Awwww! Hey look at me too! You gonna rot here if you don’t start talking and leave my date alone.”

“You are a fool!” she said looking for something to throw.

“Eh ya! You see what I am saying. There is no pillow here to throw and I wish I’m sorry about that. . . You wanna start telling me what happened?” I said with so much fun bullying her.

“Okay. . . "


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*what do you think happened?

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker - Episode 8

It rang 6.00a.m. sharp. . . Nothing’s constant like the precision of my alarm clock waking me up when it needed to. Rising from the bed isn’t one of my favourite to do list events but staying too long on the bed could make me sick. . . Right! But staying on the bed all day long is Amaka’s most hideous hobby. She calls it ‘beauty rest’! lmao! How I wish that was really true; lazy Igbo girl!

The whole compound was silent except for the glorious sounds coming from Mama Seun and her husband’s quarters and that could only be one thing. Well, I am impressed Mama Seun could make him sound that way but I guess I make him yell!

“Really, early morning sexual fantasies?”

It was as if I was Riggan and there was a birdman voice but the difference is I wasn’t tormented but bullied by a voice not an inch closer to Birdman’s but very much similar to Amaka’s.

“What?” I said facing her.

“Water. . . You make him yell!” she said spoiling her whole face.

“Never knew I said that out!”

“Well you did!”

“And I thought you were sleeping. . .”

“And I was until you started becoming weird. . .”

“I wasn’t fantasizing, I was just. . ."

“Devil, I bind you. Commot here abeg! Shoo!”

. . . And she literally shut me up.

“Well, I am not going.”

“Well, you will!”

I could see her aiming for under the pillow, whatever she was gonna bring, I don’t want to wait to see it, I dashed out with my phone in hand, jamming the door behind me. I could hear her hysterical laugh.

“I’m glad you fear me babe cos I wasn’t going to bring out anything under that pillow except for my hair net which I forgot to put on last night.”

“Go to hell!” I opened the door slightly and screamed back at her.

“I love you too!” she said back.

I hit the showers and that’s the only thing I love about the house apart from the kitchen. It has a ridiculous structuring; a self-contain where me and Amaka stays, more or less like a one-bedroom flat, it has a boys-quarters with five rooms at the back where Mama Seun, her husband and two kids share a room, Mama Titi and her friend’s husband, literally, now her husband stays in another, Papa Chinyere, Mama Chinyere and Chinyere in one, Okon, Amaka’s unexplored virgin friend who I’m sure Amaka would end up deflowering one day stays in another and finally, Eliza who I think might be experiencing sexual abuse from his father with all those breasts dangling around stays  in another with him. . . What a house setting I must say!

I laid in the Jacuzzi, soaked myself soaked in bubble baths in my strawberry shower gel with my headset tightly held to my head, I hit the play button with Omawumi’s “Love Wantintin” blasting through my ear drums and it felt like heaven. Listening to her makes me soul come alive. She has this voice indescribable, I call it a designer-voice! If you hear Megbele, you’d know it’s her!
I was in this position enjoying the cool massage coming from the bath and shuffling songs between Omawumi’s “Stay Alive”, “In the Music”, “Niger Delta 1” and “Megbele” for like 45 minutes. . . Maximally satisfied, I ran a cold bath; I love a cold bath after a long-stretch of warmness. I made for the room, Amaka was very much sleeping, she doesn’t pretend but a little side talk or comment wakes her up, she comments and trips off again.

I massaged my body gently with my luscious body lotion. It’s my most expensive beauty routine item after my clothes and heels. I slipped into a jean trouser, a crop top, tied my hair in buns and I made for the sitting room. It was already fifteen minutes past 7. I plugged in my phone to the speaker and I was blasting Mocheedah’s “Destinambari” featuring the king of Alobam, Phyno with all other songs waiting in line after it. I made for the kitchen which was only separated from the sitting room by some fine carvings of wood work in a cute and sexy way.

One thing was sure, I was hyper-active this morning but guess this was the good type. The only craving I have right now is scrambled egg, bread and coffee. I set to it with my Beyonce shaking to every blasting song. In less than five minutes, my scrambled egg was ready and in another two minutes, my coffee was ready and I never forgot to plan for the devil’s meal with mine. . . Making the necessary cleanings, Solid Star’s Oluchi was blasting and I couldn’t resist the sweetness but had to switch on my Igbo dancing skills.

“Shoo! Na dance be that? What are you even good at sef? Sexual fantasies and scrambled eggs cos that definitely smells nice.”

“Speaking of the devil some few minutes ago, I never knew she would be up so soon.” I fired back at her making my way to sit with my portion of the breakfast.

“Na me be devil o! but I won’t forget. Big sisters let things slide. . . Anyways, the dance wasn’t that bad. You tried.”

“Thanks. . . What’s up with waking up early?” I turned to face her only to discover she was off in the kitchen.

“Have you forgotten I have an appointment today? The event planning proposal I have to deliver. You know I am not the only one hoping to be awarded the contract.”

“So what time is your presentation?”

“10am and thereafter I am coming back home to sleep my head off. It's just an hour presentation or even less than. ”

“You eating without brushing? No wonder your teeth is off-white.” I said going to the kitchen to drop my empty plate and cup.

“You know I tried to be so intimidated but I couldn’t be. You know why? Cos you don’t need a filter for these teeth. It’s whiter than your white pant!” she said, opening wide her canine and molars. This girl is so disgusting, chai!

“And by the way, scramble eggs and coffee is like kissing to me. You don’t remember brushing your teeth when you wake up in the morning say 4-5am and you slam your partner some crazy sloppy kisses. You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do. The bathroom is waiting for you. Countdown to 10am.”

“Lest I forget, your coffee sucks, you need to learn from the best, and I am the best, queen of coffee.

“Well, I am glad that sucked coffee fed your belly this morning and remember to tell your future husband when you feed him coffee as breakfast, lunch and dinner that you are the queen of coffee!”

“I need not do that, you can do that when you meet him for me. Crazy ass!” she said hitting me throwing splashes of water from the sink at me as she went off to the bathroom.

“Wow! Looks like someone treated herself to a wonderful bubble bath. . . and all those love songs you playing. . .”

“That was mere coincidence.” I fired back.

“Definitely!”

Then she stopped talking and all I could hear was splashes of running water. In less than five minutes, Amaka was out; the fastest ‘bather’ I ever know. The highest she ever spends in the bathroom is 5minutes 60seconds and that’s approximately six minutes. Then she came out all dress in a white no-sleeved jumpsuit with her 7 inches braids all in black tied in a bun, makeup and brows on fleek and her feet perfectly rocking a 3 inches blue heels and a neutral coloured purse, Amaka rocks into the sitting room like a queen. It wasn’t only the makeup and brows that was on fleek, the jumpsuit put the nicki minaj behind her on fleek.

“Awwww! You gorgeous darling.”

“I know that.”

“You are a fool, you can just say thanks and stop feeling yourself.”

“You know I meant thank you and by the way, your Beyonce is beginning to compete with my Nicki these days, are you taking something for those kids?”

“You crazy!”

“So, what’s up with you and Jide? You like him I can tell.” She asked sitting beside me on the sofa, facing me like she wants to lie-detect me.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I said slightly smiling and trying to avoid her eyes.

“Wow! You don’t like him, you love him and I can tell. It’s all over you. . . Omo, this na ebola o! No cure for am”

“Craze dey worry you.”

“Anyways, we would talk more about this when I get back but you have my full support in whatever your heart requires and cook something before I get back.” She stood to leave.

“Well, I have a date for 4pm and I might not be at home not to talk of cooking for you.”

“Another date? Well, that’s good. Make sure you have fun only if you remember to bring another KFC.”

“No be only KFC, na CFK!. . . But it’s not yet 10!”

*************

“Hi”

“Hello” I replied

That was Sola’s sister I guess. It was kinda weird, I mean this type of date. Jide didn’t tell me we were going for lunch at his parents. Too sudden I guess. Maybe he was overwhelmed in the excitement and he his trying to taking things a little bit up notch or he is trying to impress me. Whichever way, I am here already and it’s too late to turn back but I am definitely gonna make sure to tell him not to pull that kind of surprises on me again. I’m not used to it. I can only pray the lunch goes well.

“This is Sade Jones, my sister. Our last born. She is in the University studying Food Technology. In her second year actually.”

“Hi. It’s my pleasure to meet you.” I replied, facing the sister and exchanging handshake with her. Which lady does handshake? Except me! Handshake is typical guys.

“And this is my brother, Femi Jones, he’s the 3rd born, after me. He is in his finals at the University, studying Chemical Engineering.”

“And finally, this is my big sister, she’s the first born of the house, I came after her. She’s married and she came around to spend some days with Mum and Dad with her husband. She graduated four years ago with B. A. Mass Communication and she’s an ace broadcaster. Her name is Kayinsola and this is her husband, Uncle Funso.” He said pointing facing their side.

“And their little baby Folakemi.”

“Good evening ma, it’s a pleasure to meet all of you.”

“It’s our pleasure to meet you too.” They said in chorus. It’s like they’ve rehearsed it but yet I was still a little bit uncomfortable. I am yet to meet the real goons of the house; Mr. and Mrs. Jones.

Finally, the table was set and we all seated to eat when Mrs. Jones walked in and I greeted her warmly and she gave me a warm embrace not knowing who I am yet. Maybe it never mattered for now because I was with her son and she knows definitely the introduction is going to come. With everybody seated except Mr. Jones, but not for long as he walked in a top and short. His face looks familiar. Can’t remember where but I hope it’s not where I am thinking it is and I hope it’s just an assumption and that hopefully none of us has ever seen each other before. He sat down and was calm but I greeted him and he greeted me too.

Jide blessed the meal and he told his family he wanted to say something.

“Before we eat, I would want to introduce someone who all my siblings have met except you Mum and Dad.”

“She is. . . “

“She is nobody!” Jide’s dad screamed.
Everyone was surprised and now it looks like my world was gonna crash.

“Dad!”

“Son!” He screamed back at Jide.

“This is no girlfriend of yours.”

“She isn’t my girlfriend yet dad but maybe soon but for now she’s just a friend.”

I really wished Jide hasn’t said that, that wasn’t necessary or maybe it was my feelings that was hurt.

“Well son, this is no friend of yours!”

“What’s going on here?” Jide’s elder sister, Kayinsola asked, facing her dad.

“Hey young lady, stand up, on your feet.”

He screamed at me.

I couldn’t stand up, my feet were cold, it was obvious we had met in the course of my rendezvous but I can’t remember having anything to do with him.

“Do you remember me? Allen Venue, late last year, around 10pm?”

I was speechless still.

“You see son! This girl is a hooker! A prostitute. She sleeps with men for money and the sexual enjoyment.” He said facing Jide.

“And how do you know all of that Dad? 10pm? Allen Avenue? What were you doing there?” He said with his voice becoming violent towards his dad.

“I won’t have you question me in my own home or create unnecessary fuss over this prostitute here. This lunch is over.”

“Shall we?” Jide’s voice beckon on me to stand up.

I left without a word. I was broken. Jide never said a word throughout the drive home. Even when he dropped me at home, he never uttered a word or open the door of the car for me as he used to. I sat for an hour in front of the house speechless, sad and hurt.

The whole compound was extremely silent. It was becoming late, to 7pm. I decided to open my door. I came in, on the light to an huge display of fresh blood all over the rug and smelling hugely. I was scared. No one was around. Not even one neighbour. Has someone broken in? And by the way where's Amaka? She was supposed to be at home. What has happened to her?

I dialled Amaka's line countlessly, it wasn't reachable. There's a huge cause for alarm. Where's Amaka? Who would I call now?

New Month Message

Happy New Month Fabulous Readers of EGO's Writing Crib. I must say that I appreciate your consistency and blog visiting as you painstakingly and undoubtedly follow this first series of mine. Your comment and all encourages me and I am indeed blessed to have people like you reading my creative works.

To all my readers born in the month of March, I say a happy birthday to you all in advance and in arrears.

May this new month be all that you ever wished for. I love you all. Happy New Month.


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Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker - Episode 7

Going out with Jide was exactly my getaway. I needed the cool aura, the solemn oldies and the delicious sauced fried snails of the restaurant. . . Jide is indeed a man of class and I enjoyed every meal from the dessert to the main course and to every music played that I couldn’t but store the name of the restaurant in my petite medulla oblongata. Can’t even remember the last time I went on a date or treated myself purposelessly to a great meal but it definitely would be two weeks today that I had my last ‘sexcapade’. . . well, they are both nourishing to the body, it depends on which is prioritized. In short, I had an obvious fun that has shifted my attention more to the food aspect.

Finally, Jide pulled a stop in front of my humble No. 5 home. We were both silent throughout the ride except for the part where he made a stop at KFC. A part of me was really tired that all I wanted to do was run a hot bath and sleep but the other part was willing to excitedly respond to Amaka’s impending ‘gist me’ long-throat and the ‘what did you do when he did this?’ ‘what’s the unexpected that happened?’ ‘Did you guys kiss?’ and I’d so vomit in her face, God help me.

“I’m so glad you could squeeze out a time. I had a great time.” He said, finally breaking the silence.

“Well, I had a nice time too. Thanks for the dinner and the ride.” 

“Anytime dear. . . And I must say you looked so delectable tonight.”

I thought he never noticed and would never compliment me! God help am, I thought to myself but seriously I be fool o! lol.

“Thanks. You look great too.”

Then he got down, came over to my side and opened the door, ‘how gentlemanly’ and Amaka’s voice was screaming in my head ‘Don’t be deceived’ lol. . . the girl no dey ever trust guys like I was even better but she’s definitely worst am except if she really likes the guy.

“Thanks.” I said finally stepping down from the cool breeze of the AC.

“Don’t mention.”

“Let me walk you to the door and use that opportunity to say hi to Amaka that’s if she’s around.”

“She should be.”

“And this is for Amaka”

He handed me a takeaway pack and I could smell it without opening it and it was humming KFC.

“Ok. Thanks.”

I wanted to say he shouldn’t really have bothered but I have learnt overtime not to tell a guy ‘he shouldn’t have’ after he already did. The truth is I’m glad he did but in the bid to be courteous and all, we end up saying ‘you really shouldn’t have bothered’ when the bother dey sweet my belle as hell. A simple and sincere thank you says it all.

He slipped his palms into mine; I made a light and silent chuckle. It kinda felt good; mine was cold, his was warm.

“Una weldone o! You go out? Welcome”

Hehehehehehehehehehehe; this woman will not kill me. Jide sef couldn’t hide his amusement. . . Mama Seun and her uncensored gbeboruns. . . I don’t even know what she was doing there. Most times, I tend to find her annoying and another time, hilarious . . . plus all the neighbours join together but guess that’s what you get when you live in a house with a funny plan as No. 5 and when your friend refuses to answer the door bell. Abi Amaka don get company?

Before I could even look sideways to reply Mama Seun, she don vamoose and Amaka had finally opened the door. I gave her a sharp look that speaks “wa a fe ku lale yi” in Reminisce’s voice making sure she got the look.

“Hey!”

“Hello” Jide said, replying Amaka.

“You weren’t around when I came to pick her. . .”

“Yeah right. I took a walk. You guys should come in na!”

“Not to worry, I would just take my leave from here while she come in.”

“Alright then. . . Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the KFC too!”

“And who told you it was yours?” I chipped in

“And whose would it be if not mine. Wetin I sha know be say, no be you buy am come house for me.”

“And who says I would buy something and bring home for you?” I said rolling my eyes with Jide enjoying our mini cartoon.
“Exactly my point! You can’t, you didn’t!”

“Whatever! Take, chop am and add am to your nicki ass!” I hit her with it on the chest.

“No hard feelings bae, would gladly.”

“You girls are hilarious. . .

“Girls? Hello o! We grown ass women! We are ladies.” Amaka cuts in.

“Pardon my slip of tongue. . . would love to be on my way now ladies.”

“Well-said! Thanks for coming by. Goodnight.” Amaka said, dashing off into the room, jamming the door loudly.

The girl is a fool, I don’t know what game she’s trying to play leaving us two outside. I stood by the door balancing on the ground with my 3 inch Alexander McQueen heels that makes me a 6 ft 5”, a crop top and a jean. I love my body; there’s no other way I love to admire myself than when standing.

“Take care. Would call you tomorrow. . . Good night.”

“Good night Jide!”

I watched him enter his car, reverse and drove off till I couldn’t see his car again and I guess that meant something; something that’s not healthy for me!

* * * * * * * * * ** * *

It’s been two years since I broke contact with Jide until now. Looking back and remembering all those things made me wonder how much great and unpleasant histories we’ve made together. I fell for him and our love was stronger than Ode and Inale’s but it just couldn’t work.

I was in 300 level when we ended things. I can say Jide was the first man I was ever serious with. Guess he was just lucky. Sitting right with him in the car made me realize how much of him I have missed.

“So how is work?”

“Well, work is fine. I bless God.” He replied.

“So really, how have you been? What have you been up to?” he asked

“I have been good and I have been up to many things lately” *like straffing my neighbour and all* (that I didn’t say)

“Hmmmmm. . . back to my question, where are you off to?”

“I’m going to Abeokuta. I have been posted there for my Youth Service. Not resuming yet, but just going to do certain things at the NYSC Secretariat and other stuffs sha.”

“Wow! Congratulations; how time flies. I’m going to Abeokuta too actually. I’m meeting an old friend.”

“Really, that means I would be riding with you throughout the journey.”

“I guess so. . . but is there a problem?”

“Not at all.”

Anyways, I just lied. I can’t believe I’d see Jide again not to talk of riding with him. No doubt we both were stealing glances at each other but am I supposed to survive the hours of flirting and checking outs? Really, this isn’t about sex, this is about something much more sensitive; rekindling an old flame.

“So have you been to Abeokuta before?” Jide asked.

“Not really but let’s just say I have. Just once anyways.”

“Okay. . . I hate to ask this but how is business? Are you still into those stuffs?” he asked with so much hesitation in his stuff.

“Well, if what you mean by business is if I’m still a sex worker, well maybe I still do or maybe I still don’t but as much as I’d love to discuss that with you, I can’t. No hard feelings Jide.”

“I understand. Maybe I was out of line with that question anyways.”

“You very funny! It’s no big deal.”

Jide can like to take blame for everything. *whatever that rocks his boat jare.*

“Ok. If you say so. . . Are you in a relationship or serious relationship?”

“Classified!”

“Wow! What happened to you?”

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker - Episode 6

One would have thought Amaka had it for Jide and vice versa but reverse was the case. . . Amaka never hit on guys but she never fails to appreciate the aesthetic works of God on a guy whenever she sees one. Sometimes when I’m alone, I realize how much she means to me; she’s the sister I never had.

Sitting side by side with Jide never felt so real until I remembered how it started and what it used to be back then. . . Something in me wasn’t convenient with the fact that Jide and Sola’s girlfriend knew about the whole molestation story. I do appreciate my private life and not only normal people get molested, hookers are molested too, I’m not admitting to anything *donno what you think I am* but I do appreciate privacy a lot.

“Who cares for privacy? Girl, you dey dull me o. Seriously, what has happened to you?”

“I’m pregnant” I blurted out

“I’m glad but who is the father and don’t tell me it's Sola cos na molestation you call am no be rape!”

Amaka is a fool! I can see all the gestures in her eyes and I know she’s up to no good. “Abeg free me Amaka; there is nothing going on. I’m just having some terrible flashes of things I have seem to forgotten; that’s all and I am not pregnant cos I can already see your brain is calculating again.”

“Well, I would have to see a concrete proof that you not harboring a bastard in there. All you need is a small bottle and we have a lot of unused, yet to expire PT kits in here, so just don’t flush down that early morning water tomorrow, get me my copy!”

“Walai you be fool!” I said throwing her a pillow.

“Bae, you’d be fine, get over yourself please, don’t allow a simple almost fatal experience tear your walls down, it’s not worth it!”

She threw her arms round me, wrapping me tightly. Amaka is really my soothing massage chair, no homo and we are straight as hell. She’s a good girlfriend and sister. . . she held me tightly for like thirty minutes whispering soothing words in my ears, some crazy words I hit her for and some a slap. I was relieved and were laughing our hearts out until we had a loud bang at the door. . .

“You go get the door, I’m off to the bathroom!”

“Why you dey always bath like mammy water pikin like this?”

“I sweated after a very engaging fight I launched on your behalf! Hello o” she said with her eyes almost bulging out.

“I send you message? Mumu girl” I said as she already left for the bathroom.

“You welcome! And by the way, I was kidding about having a copy of your urine, I believe you sweetie” she echoed from the bathroom!

Stupid girl! Like I was gonna give her a copy before? A copy? Is my urine a document? This girl na proper were I tell you; full of misappropriated and twisted dictions.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s me ma.”

“You, who?”

“Eliza!”

I quickly opened the door. Somehow, I feel responsible for the girl. Somehow, I have this connection with her even though I hate her guts and her uncontrolled blabbing.

“Come in” I said, opening the door for her to enter.

“Thank you.”

She looked so decent and was properly talking to me for the first time that it felt so unreal except for the fact that her breast packs were missing as usual.

“Wetin happen Eliza?”

“Errrm! Errm! I am so sorry for the other time.”

“It’s fine really.”

“Thank you o.” she said almost kneeling down.

“Abeg, aunty Amaka dey aus too? I go like make both of una dey together so I fit talk wetin I wan talk”

“Ow! Okay.” Now this is getting weird believe me.

“Amaka! Amaka o!”

“Yes, you called.”

She was standing right in front of me like some nollywood disappearing and appearing powers had brought her.

“You finished early.” I said murmuring hoping she didn’t hear that.

“Well, I heard you. Thanks! Life is not static, we change, so I changed for the moment. . . And who do we have here?” she said eyeballing Eliza.

Amaka never liked Eliza, she despises her eagerness and early signs of promiscuity. Mama na prophet. The day she called to tell me Eliza was showing early signs of promiscuity, I laughed my ass out! Gosh!

“Aunty Amaka, good afternoon ma.”

“Afternoon o!”

I can’t help but laugh. “So what can we do for you o Eliza”

“Abeg, I need your financial help. I need to pay my school fee and to acquire some O’Level exams like NECO and WAEC GCE. I’ve searched round the compound finding who I can seek help from but you are the only people that crossed my mind.

"Please, help me.” she said kneeling down.
She was actually being overdramatic I think.

“Well that is a small thing, I can spare some contacts”

“Amaka!” I gave her a very sharp look that screams ‘What was that about’

“Okay, Eliza, we don’t have much but we would help you. First, let’s start with your school fee; that’s the most pressing one.
How much is the school fee?”

“6,000 naira ma.”

“Okay, come back around 9pm. We would have something for you.”

“Thank you so much. God go bless you o.” she said taking her leave.

“And Eliza, why don’t you wear clothes for your. . .” I said pointing to her chest area.

“The only one wey I get don tear and papa no gimme money to get wetin I need.”

“Okay, what’s your size?”

She looked down without saying anything. I guess that meant she had no idea.

“Okay, wait for me here.”

Amaka was just standing, staring at us. I went in and I came out with some of the new ones I got. They are expensive though.

“This should size you I guess.” I handed it over to her.

“God bless you o!” she left.

“Amaka! What was that about? You have contacts to spare?”

“Yes na. She needed help and since she had been grooming herself for so long, I wanted to give her an expensive opportunity to make for herself more than she needed. We never needed the money but she does.”

“Amaka! Let’s us just forget about this for now!”

“I get what you are trying to do, you feel responsible for her, you trying to redeem your soul by helping her, fine! If it works for you, you have my full support.”

“Okay. But don’t forget we helping her. At least, let’s give her 10k, she pays for her school fees and use the remaining 4k for food or something.

“Aii.” She left!

“We are helping her o Amaka!” I screamed

“And you are responsible for her!” She screamed back from the room.

Yea! That’s the part of Amaka that gets nasty. . . My phone vibrated and that’s a message and I really hope it isn’t Sola.

“hey, how are you feeling now and I                     guess you feel a lot better. . . Are you free for 7pm? If yes, I would like to book for that time. Kindly get back to me. My regards to Amaka. . . Jide.”

Didn’t know I was reading it out until I heard Amaka speak!

“My regards to him too!”

“And anyways he likes you” she said with a laughter in her voice.

I lifted my head and I saw her still there!

“Oh girl! Get your nicki minaj off my sight and go dress up!”

“He likes you o, you know abi?”

“Amaka!”

“He likes you!” she said walking away and reversing back like a car!

“Amaka, na wetin na?” I picked the remote to throw at her and she zoomed off.

Stupid girl!

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker - Episode 5

It's Saturday. I love Saturdays; who doesn’t?

I had just woken up with a loud bang on my head like the sound coming out of a pendulum hitting the walls of a bell. I didn’t have the best night but I never had the worst. All through the night, my mind was clouded with thoughts I couldn’t place. That seemingly minute experience I had with Sola really spoilt my mood. My memory was refreshed and it was as if I was digging my hands into my brain to remember so many hurtful things that had taken place in my life.

“Hey, how are you feeling now?” Amaka said handling me a hot cup of coffee.

“I’m good girlfriend; just a little bit depressed.”

“Sorry ehn. Is there anything else you would like me to get you?”

This girl and her over-pampering abilities, chai! “Anyways Amaka, I am fine o!” I replied her.

“Well, if you say so.” She said leaving for the bathroom.

I was surprised she let the matter slide without probing any further. That is very unlike Amaka. I took a sip from the coffee; Amaka does make good coffee, even if she no sabi any other kitchen-thing.

I was really tired and wanted to sleep again but Korede Bello’s “God Win” blasting from somewhere in the room diverted my attention; it was definitely coming from my phone. That’s my favourite naija hit for now and now my ringtone; no time!. . . I could hear Amaka’s cocky voice humming to it.  .  . E sure me say if that girl release a track, na only me go download am just for love sake not to talk of an album.

“Where the hell is the phone sef?”

“Under the bed.” Amaka screamed from the bathroom.

“And who dropped it there?”

“And is that a question for me to answer?” Well then, you might want to ask your humble self rolling over the bed like a possessed being. An obvious indication that you are fine.

“Na you sabi o! Aproko.”

“I don turn aproko now abi. No wahala na. Make I get out of this bathroom.”

“Amaka, I no get your time this morning o, I no even sabi wetin you dey wash since morning.”

I finally found the phone under the bed and guess who had been calling since yesterday, leaving me tons of apologetic texts; it was Sola!

“For God’s sake, do I need to vomit ‘I am not Angry’ into this guy’s ears before he understands that I am not angry? Abi what? It’s enough he had to make me feel terrible about myself and a lot of sinking deep into the past being done, but seriously, Sola, gimme a break!”

“Wow! Guess he really needs to hear the last part cos ain’t no Sola here” Amaka said with her micro-mini towel wrapped around her body.

“Walahi Amaka, I’d kill you this morning.” I said, pouting my face into her face.

“And I’d gladly die for your sake. Gosh, for crying out loud, just admit you pissed, it’s okay to be mad; it’s okay to confess you not feeling fine. Sola or whatever him papa and name him is a fish and I’m sure he’s somewhere pretending having fun while you are here reading those texts of his that are not one inch close to apology. You are my girl, and no guy tries shit with my girl.”

“Na you sabi o!”

“Shey na wetin you go talk be that? Your good heart go kill you one day. Whether you like it or not, at a point in life, you’ve just gat to offend some people o and make enemies if need be so far it’s for your good.

“Point well taken Prof. Amaka.” I said, goggling my eyelashes like someone with a peg in her eye.

“. . . And you are welcome dull student!” she ran off.

“You for wait na. I’d have shown you some dullness.”

“And you need to dress up bae, we are going out!” Amaka said, shouting at the top of her voice from the room.

“And where the hell would I be following you to? Mtcheeew! I’d be damned if I dress up!”

“You should be!” she said locking up the room door!

“Amaka, open this door now o!” I said with my fist banging the door. Stupid girl; she already heard my footsteps! Sometimes I wonder, what would my life be without her? Less-stressful I guess.

************* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“I’d like Champagne”

“And you ma?” the bartender asked facing Amaka

“I’d like a bottle of Smirnoff and some well prepared cowskin. Emphasis on well-prepared o!”

Amaka is an ass! See the way she was ‘stronging’ her face like someone who dey beg shit to come out of her yansh. As if she had ate a bad ‘ponmo’ at the mini-restaurant/bukateria before! Kai! She can spoil business.

“Why na, what I do? Why are you looking at me like that? I was just being real, hello o!”

“I don hear you o!”

“Unlike you, ordering for a champagne when you should knack better alcohol to wash away that thing wey dey bug your mind; they form well-mannered girl for there!”

“Na you sabi. I actually thought you were going to Sola’s house to go do something crazy.”

“Well, I will. Maybe not today. I’d deal with him tomorrow.”

The bartender brought our order and while I was just glancing around, my eyes caught Sola and Jide with a plus one which should either belong to one of them. They were sitting and chatting at a corner.

“Maybe you really don’t have to wait till tomorrow.” I murmured.

“What?”

“We have company over there.” I said, shooting my eyes in the direction of Sola with Amaka’s eyes tailing the direction.

“Well then, are you ready to be a bitch?”

“After you Prof.!”

We both laughed, stood up from our seats, abandoning our order which was as good as not touched. With Amaka at the front, I followed her. Dada no fit fight but e get person wey chop liver pass am.

************* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
“Hi!” Sola said with his heart definitely beating beyond normal.

His ‘hi’ was full of guilt; an ‘hi’ trying to contain a disease that may soon turn an epidemic.

“Hello, I am Ayobami. Sola’s girlfriend and you guys are?”

“. . . his victims dumbass!” Amaka screamed.

Now seriously, Amaka is being really bitchy. Shoo! Wetin the girlfriend do na and seriously, you’d know an insecure girlfriend when you see one! “Yai, Ayam Sola’s girlfriend” I murmured annoyingly” stupid girl.

“Errm abeg, my time is precious! Who among you is Sola? I take it that you are the one.” Amaka said facing Sola. It was written all over his face that he was uncomfortable and unstable. Guilt is a bastard!

“Do you know that you are a fool and an irresponsible man and a beast!”

Now the conjuncts are getting too much! An indication that Amaka don dey take am personal.

“How could you molest someone who shared an open mind with you? You molested my friend here and its highly unacceptable to me. The fact that she won’t react doesn’t mean I won’t. Now you are here treating yourself to a meal with a chick who thinks you a great and faithful guy.”

At this stage, the girlfriend opened her mouth speechlessly and Jide likewise was just staring saying nothing. Sola on the other hand definitely doesn’t have anything to say.

“You’ve got something to say to me or my girl?” Amaka asked.

“Oh! Nothing! You think you can go about sending stupid apologetic messages and you think that’s all? This is a huge warning to you, stay away from my friend, do I make myself clear?”

Sola went dumb!

“I guess that silence meant a yes!”

“Sola, what do you have to say. I really don’t understand. Are these ladies saying the truth?”

Now, the girlfriend is getting emotional. An indication of high disappointment maybe not for what he did to me but the unfaithfulness. She grabbed her bag and cried out running off slowly in her 3 inches heels.

“Ayo please wait!” Sola screamed!

Now the unexpected happened! Jide hit Sola on the jaw and he landed on his ass.

“I am disappointed in you!” Jide screamed.

“Ouch!” Amaka said definitely with a smile! Stupid girl. She was having fun and we were creating a scene in someone’s business arena and the bartender was walking towards our corner.

“Hi, I am Amaka Coker” stretching forth her hand to Jide.

“I’m sorry. I am Jide Jones”

“My kind of man! I love some Jack Bauer” Amaka said winking at me with Jide smiling back.

“What’s going on here please! You distracting our customers and making a mess of our restaurant.” The bartender said.

“We are so sorry man! A stipend for your trouble.” Amaka said, dipping some notes in the guy’s pocket while she walked away with Jide at the front and I followed at the back.

“Fuck you Sola!” I said bending down to him with his ass on the ground.

“And these two just stole my show!” I murmured running after Amaka and Jide.



Posted via Blogaway

Memoirs of A Repentant Hooker - EPISODE 4

I remembered clearly the ‘first’ time I met Jide, it was through Sola, a friend who has a crush on me. Yea! That’s if attraction is the same thing as a crush but who cares for fairies and wishes? I’m for real in Flavour’s voice. Dreams, crushes and wishes when it comes to girl/boy matters are better left for the teens. I’m a grown ass woman; yea right! God bless Black American films.

The first time and countless times I ever met Jide was not as significant as the first day I met him. The first time a woman meets a man is distinctively different from the first day she meets him. I can’t remember that distinctive moment without remembering Sola.

Sola is a handsome young man, unreserved, very agile, ambitious and a volatile film person. He was a senior by two years in the university, can’t remember how we met; guess it’s not that distinctive but I know we became close at a point. He’s got good profile for every dream man but I really just couldn’t date him. He’s controlling, domineering and manipulative and I think, he has less control over the pendulum in-between his thighs. Sola could be funny even though he makes dry jokes. He has a girlfriend but lies about having one but I never hesitated to throw his lies into his face. He’s a trying liar but he definitely lies to the wrong person. . . I’m a female Carl Lightman but natural as Torres. I watch too much films right? Sola and I were closed until the day he crossed a huge line.

“Seriously, how many times do we have to discuss this? Put your attraction for me under check. All I want for you is to be a good friend and if you don’t want to, the door is as good as wide but kissing or shacking up with a man I’m not dating or seeing is a no-no for me.” I stressed with my voice at the highest pitch. Who says hookers don’t have standards? Maybe those by the road sides.

“I like you, I’m attracted to you, I love you, I want to date you but we really can’t make it public till I’m sure we are taking this serious.” Sola said.

Lest I forget, Sola enjoys being treated like a baby and you know the worst part, you have to be a strong woman like I am not to fall for his deceptive bedroom voice. Guys do have bedroom voices too you know and when a guy is using that on you, he’s either trying to calm you down for real or trying to get that big bro into that tiny hole. Very manipulative voice! From experience but that’s a red light sweetheart. I deserve better than secrecy but really, do I have to scream into this guy’s ears that I am not willing to go down that road with him not to talk of dating on a low-key?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So how have you been?”

Jide’s succulent voice brought my body and soul back to life. If there is anything I love about him, it’s the way he picks his words and the voice lighting up and turning up the air-condition of my body. Jide definitely knows how to make a woman let her guards down.

“I’ve been great. And you?”

“Obviously doing awesome my dear.”

I saw his eyes flash through my cleavage. I remembered how he used to love ‘them’ boobs. He obviously still has a crush on those wonderful works of Jah. I chuckled.

“What?”

“What’s what?” I stressed back with my eyes graciously focused on him.

“Seriously what?”

“Really, you want to the what thing? Stop doing that!” I screamed sexily. Having a woman screamed sexily is one of the greatest enthusiasm guys feel. The more he tries to hide it, the more his eyes increasingly gave him away.

“Stop doing what?” Jide said but this time, more daring as he pouts his face into mine. It’s been a while you know. . .

Jide kept his face into mine for like five minutes and who knows how much he would have stayed till a petrol tanker flashed its red lights and that crazy sound the horn always make.

“You might want to keep your eyes more on the road you know!” I winked at him and he readjusted.

“Hmmmm, never mind me, you always intrigued me anytime. Those eyes, those legs, that face, that brain, that woman! Seriously, what went wrong between us?”

“Exactly what I need you to stop! You flirting with me Jide, not nice!”

“And you enjoying every bit!”

Now I couldn’t hold my laughter. He caught me, I was really enjoying it. I love it when a guy flirts with me especially an ex! It’s not only me I guess. Most ladies like it! When an ex can hide the fact that he still got dibs for you, it makes your head wanna pop but really, you don’t wanna go down that road!

Wild thoughts began to run through my mind! Hmmmm, bad girl! The worst thing that could ever happen in this SUV right now is to have that awesome experience! Well, yeah! Amaka tells me about having a sexual affair with an ex and how awesome it always feels shacking up with an ex. Many strings attached, less emotions involved! I want to try it some day. I love to try new things you know!

“So where are you off to?” Jide asked, breaking the silence!

“Well, I’m travelling.”

“To?”

“And why should I tell you?”

“Because I know you really do wanna tell me right now.”

“And why would I want to do that?”

“Well for many reasons like you in my car right now and I need to know where you going.”

“Hmmmmm” I sighed out licking my lips.

“What?” he said, smiling.

“212 Men!”

Now he couldn’t contain the excitement; he chuckled! “You still remember that?”

“Yeah. And I can smell that too!”

“Wow! You intriguing the more!”

“When will you ever change that cologne?”

“Will I ever?. . .”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Leave me alone! You hurting me!”

I was screaming loud, hitting him and was sobbing but he never gave a damn.

I remembered the day Sola molested me. He never slept with me but he rumpled with my body. I remembered getting tired of hitting him that I just laid there at a point and allowed him have his way till he gets tired if he ever does!

We just finished sharing a nice meal of roasted plantain popularly referred to as boli and groundnut and a bottle of coke and I guessed he missed his with an half bottle of ‘Osomo’. I got busy surfing the net and Sola began getting cozy with his mouth to my ears like a dog licking another dog’s ear wound. I told him to stop; he did and later on continued and this time, he was like a beast. Like I’ve never seen him before. He was voraciously eating my ears like a dessert; his hands on my breasts; then his mouth. I couldn’t take it anymore! I screamed silently sobbing. He stopped and went silent like a molester acting sober. I took my bag to take my leave.

“I’m really sorry. I’m not like this. I have just missed you.”

I was silent. It felt stupid hearing a guy I was never having an affair with talking about missing me like as if we’ve been sleeping with each other or touring with each other’s bodies. Some guys are beasts and it so sad have met more beasts in a lifetime.

“At least if you must leave, can you wait while I get you something to comb your hair?”

I wasn’t angry, in fact, I couldn’t feel anything whether annoyance, hate or anger. The truth is, a guy who can harass or molest, can rape and hell be let loosed if someone ever claims this guy can't rape!

He went in with my bag as a security measure for me not leaving by the time he returns. I took the brush, ran it through my weave, he continued to apologize till I made my leave.

He called my phone endlessly, sending texts but who cares for an apology over a cloth that has been rumpled afterall there's no light to iron it. I can only wish he becomes a better person and learned to be faithful to his girlfriend. How I wished he had tried it with Amaka, he'd have been in the 'market' by now. Mad girl!

All things being said, no grudges or unforgiveness harboured but that was the last day I was going to speak to him.

#Episode 5 coming soon!
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